Recent News and Opinion
2015/9/3 - Murder Suspect McCord Turns Herself In
2015/9/2 - Updated: Three arrested in two separate incidents for assaulting p...
2015/9/1 - All DCTA Services Down For Labor Day
2015/8/29 - City hits $2.4 million snag in Valley Ridge extension project
2015/8/29 - Saddle Club to Host Labor Day Rodeo - Sept 5, 6
2015/8/28 - Supervisor wins senior pageant
2015/8/28 - Farmers football falls short against Rowlett
2015/8/26 - Fighting Farmers face Rowlett Eagles in Thursday game
2015/8/26 - Police ID suspect in July murder
2015/8/25 - Lake Dallas coach arrested for sex with student
2015/8/24 - Lewisville schedules mosquito spraying
2015/8/22 - LTJ Print Edition
2015/8/21 - Live Music Reviews: Dolly Shine at Hat Tricks Thursday, August 20th
2015/8/21 - Ham radio operators host HF radio day Saturday
2015/8/20 - VAL's "As Above, So Below" Exhibit: A Critical View
2015/8/19 - Motorists Reminded to Be Careful as Kids Head Back-to-School
2015/8/19 - LHS Volleyball Starts Season Strong
2015/8/19 - Upcoming Closures on the 35Express Project
2015/8/18 - Lewisville Kroger store to close after 28 years
2015/8/18 - Lewisville Voters to Decide on Bond Package
2015/8/17 - DCTA service changes effective Monday, August 24
2015/8/16 - LTJ Prints First Newspaper
2015/8/14 - Lake Park reopened after flood waters recede
2015/8/14 - Upcoming Event s Around Lewisville and the Surrounding Area
2015/8/13 - Visual Arts League of Lewisville Fresh Ideas 2015: A Critical View
Recent Reader Comments
2015/9/2 11:48 - Re: Three arrested in two separate incidents for assaulti... (Anonymous)
2015/9/2 3:31 - Re: Three arrested in two separate incidents for assaulti... (Anonymous)
2015/8/31 14:51 - Re: LTJ Prints First Newspaper (Anonymous)
2015/8/30 18:11 - Re: Lewisville schedules mosquito spraying (trafton)
2015/8/30 18:00 - Re: City hits $2.4 million snag in Valley Ridge extension... (Anonymous)
2015/8/30 17:55 - Re: LHS Volleyball Starts Season Strong (Anonymous)
2015/8/30 14:42 - Re: City hits $2.4 million snag in Valley Ridge extension... (fvaughan)
2015/8/30 14:39 - Re: City hits $2.4 million snag in Valley Ridge extension... (TJGilmore)
2015/8/30 14:12 - Re: City hits $2.4 million snag in Valley Ridge extension... (fvaughan)
2015/8/29 12:53 - Re: City hits $2.4 million snag in Valley Ridge extension... (Anonymous)
2015/8/28 10:20 - Re: Lake Dallas coach arrested for sex with student (Anonymous)
2015/8/28 10:15 - Re: Police ID suspect in July murder (Anonymous)
2015/8/28 10:11 - Re: Farmers football falls short against Rowlett (Anonymous)
2015/8/27 14:23 - This is so sad (Anonymous)
2015/8/26 7:49 - Re: Lake Dallas coach arrested for sex with student (Anonymous)
2015/8/23 18:35 - Re: Lewisville Kroger store to close after 28 years (Anonymous)
2015/8/22 9:12 - Re: Lewisville Kroger store to close after 28 years (Anonymous)
2015/8/20 23:41 - Re: Lewisville Kroger store to close after 28 years (Anonymous)
2015/8/20 20:16 - Re: Motorists Reminded to Be Careful as Kids Head Back-to... (Anonymous)
2015/8/20 20:13 - Re: Lewisville Kroger store to close after 28 years (Anonymous)
2015/8/20 17:13 - Re: LTJ Prints First Newspaper (Anonymous)
2015/8/20 13:10 - Re: Lewisville Kroger store to close after 28 years (jbcglc)

More Layoffs Today at WhosPlayin

Links, Thoughts, and Open Thread
Posted by WhosPlayin on 2009/1/28 10:40:00 (3322 reads)

Effective immediately, WhosPlayin Communications, Inc. announces layoffs of 46,000 employees from our local blogging division. This cost-cutting move is expected to save the company up to $42.38 a year. Employees, who were waiting on a weather cancellation notice this morning, were notified via robocall not to show up for work. The company followed the robocall with an email, which is excerpted below:

Dear Former Employees:
We just wanted to take this opportunity to send you bloodsucking parasites one final "fuck you" while your free email accounts still work. When I asked you ungrateful bastards to help me polish up the corporate jet, many of you bitched and moaned about not having enough "family time". When we moved our corporate headquarters to the Cayman Islands, we offered you incompetent boobs free round-trip airfare to anyone willing to smuggle large bundles of cash in their carry-on luggage.

We would talk about how much we regret the layoffs, but frankly, we can outsource your jobs to India and save enough money to buy a new corporate yacht AND pay for our "Read Local Bloggers" marketing blitz.

In closing, smell ya later, bitches. We'll be posting a form letter-of-recommendation later, that you can download and fill out for yourself, if you think it will do you any good. TTYN. Signed Dick S. Over, President


Mr. Over could not be reached for comment because... well, we just didn't give a crap. Suckit, Over.



Keywords:
- Satire

- Rating: 0.00 (0 votes) - {$lang_ratethisnews}
 
The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.


Other articles
2015/9/3 13:00:00 - Murder Suspect McCord Turns Herself In
2015/9/2 0:20:00 - Updated: Three arrested in two separate incidents for assaulting police officers
2015/9/1 14:50:00 - All DCTA Services Down For Labor Day
2015/8/29 9:40:00 - City hits $2.4 million snag in Valley Ridge extension project
2015/8/29 9:31:07 - Saddle Club to Host Labor Day Rodeo - Sept 5, 6
2015/8/28 18:56:44 - Supervisor wins senior pageant
2015/8/28 7:10:00 - Farmers football falls short against Rowlett
2015/8/26 20:30:00 - Fighting Farmers face Rowlett Eagles in Thursday game
2015/8/26 13:56:45 - Police ID suspect in July murder
2015/8/25 22:36:23 - Lake Dallas coach arrested for sex with student


The Lewisville Texan Journal is a service of SagePost, Inc.
Login to Comment
User:
Pass:
Remember me
Lost your password?
Create New Account