Rep. Joe Barton (R-Ennis, TX) is certainly deserving of WhosPlayin's most dishonorable mention for Texans - The Texas Dim Bulb Award. Given only sparingly in dishonor of the most blatant dumbfuckery, this award is highly deserved by his dimness, Joe Barton for his recent dumbass question that he posed to Nobel Prize winning scientist and Secretary of Energy Steven Chu:
Rep. Joe Barton, R-Texas: "Dr. Chu, you're our scientist. How did the oil and gas get under Alaska?"
Energy Secretary Steven Chu, D-Calif.: "This is a complicated story, but essentially oil and gas got there as the result of hundreds of millions of years of geology, and in that time also the plates have moved around. And so it's the combination of where the sources of the oil and gas are and...
Rep. Barton: "Isn't it obvious that at one time it was a lot warmer in Alaska and on the North Pole? It wasn't a big pipeline that we created in Texas and shipped it up there and put it underground so we could now pump it out, was it?
Nice job there, Dopey Joe. Knowing that global climate change is a conspiracy invented by the Democrats, you only trust your gut instinct that "book larnin'" and "fancy schmancy scientists" can't be nearly as intelligent as a lard-assed semi-retarded professional politician. With your vapid and maturbatory rhetoric, you took on those evil scientists, with their "evidence" and their "years of study" and their "consensus", and their "scientific method".
You sure trapped that egghead in his own lie, now didn't you. If Alaska has oil under it, then the North Pole must have been warm one time - just like that plate of greasy "freedom fries" from the house cafeteria, right? And if Alaska was warm once, that means there's no such thing as human-induced climate change. And hell, maybe it would be easier to slurp up all that oil up there if it got warmer, right?
No sir, being hailed by the Wall Street Journal as the "House GOP's leading expert on energy policy" back in 2002, you were not about to let facts confuse that wrinkly hunk of Spam that passes for your brain with knowledge that most school children learn in junior high or middle school.
After all, your inability to fathom that the earth is more than 6,000 years old is like a badge of honor these days in the G.O.P. Not even the highly paid geologists that serve your Oil and Gas industry campaign contributors could move you. Because you are simply certain that all one has to do to strike oil is "Drill, Baby, Drill".
But, your true dimmitude, other than opening your mouth to prove your ignorance beyond a doubt, was that you were just too damned stupid to realize that you came across like a buffoon. Like putting garnish on a plate of dog turds, you dutifully issued a press release that would have failed any freshman composition class in the most junior of junior colleges anywhere.
You could have buried that press release in your own highly partisan shithole of a website, but instead, you had the balls - or stupidity - to post it on the website of the Energy and Commerce Committee Republicans, some of which actually went to grown-up college and managed not to get struck in the head by fastballs.
But as the icing on the cake, and final proof that you are just too eat up with the dumbass to know when to shut the hell up, you had the outright arrogance and cluelessness to get the video evidence of your now infamous verbal diarrhea posted on your own YouTube channel:
Look at the guy behind and to the right of Barton, just trying not to let his face betray his amusement at hearing Barton spew.
A small tear of shame runs down my cheek, just knowing that you and I were both born in Waco, TX. Just the small possibility that something in the water down there might have done this to you should scare the crap out of me.
Having worked hard all your life to be such a completely useless blowhard, bringing both embarrassment and shame to your fellow Texans, you are hereby dishonored with the Texas Dim Bulb Award. You are hereby deemed as honorary foreigner, and hereby stripped of any and all privileges pertaining to your Texas residency.
Pack up your crap, and go directly to Mississippi - a state that has obviously benefitted greatly from thinkers like you. In fact, we may have one or two dimwits around here that you could re-patriate.
On second thought, that's not fair to Mississippi.
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Rep. Joe Barton (R-Ennis, TX) is certainly deserving of WhosPlayin's most dishonorable mention for Texans - The Texas Dim Bulb Award. Given only sparingly in dishonor of the most blatant dumbfuckery, this award is highly deserved by his dimness, Joe Barton for his recent 
Re: Texas Dim Bulb Award - Joe Barton
